Because I know people reading my work might also want to experiment – in real life – with some of the things I write about, I thought I might start writing occasional articles about safety and reality.
I guess the starting point is: just because something is in erotica or porn, doesn’t mean it can or should be done in real life. The bodies presented in erotica are incredibly resilient, flexible and capable. The brains presented in erotica are also bizarrely resilient and trauma resistant. The bodies presented in porn are real bodies but the people doing the activities are much more likely to know what they’re doing and there may be some editing as well.
Real people are different to what I write in my erotica. Real people get hurt, injured, tired, traumatised and can even die. Please stay safe out there. Negotiate informed, enthusiastic, positive consent. Go slow and do research whenever trying anything new.
I write a lot of stories that involve putting large things inside a vagina and also sometimes inside an anus. I write for fun because these ideas turn me on.
I’m not actually the expert in doing them in real life, so it is very possible that people who practise these kinks upon reading my works will say ‘yeah nah, that’s not how it feels in real life’. And that’s fine.
(Though if you ever do find things in my writing that read ‘unreal’ to you: please feel free to let me know.)
Also because I’m not an expert, I’m not going to give advice about how to safely play around with size and penetration kinks. If you want to explore, please do research and find people in the kink scene and sex work scene who write about or can give advice on how to do these things safely.
Because I write about it: my understanding is that bottles and anything involving glass is generally a bad idea. It can break and it can also form a suction inside the body that makes it impossible to remove. People can have serious injuries and can die. TLDR: I write about beer bottles in my stories but please don’t do beer bottles in real life.
There’s a whole heap of other things in my stories to also please don’t do in real life but I wanted to mention beer bottles especially.
I also write stories about relatively forceful insertion play. For the most part this is not safe. If you’re ever doing penetration play in real life: talk first, do research, go slow, use lots of lube, have lots of foreplay (it’s fun!), do lots of ongoing communication and if anything feels painful in a bad way or wrong, stop.
In my real life, I myself generally use things that were actually designed to go inside a vagina or an anus, such as sex toys designed for that purpose. I have been known to use the occasional hairbrush handle or spatula handle or similar. It’s gone all right for me, but also my personal experience is that sex toys almost always feel better.
There’s so many toys out there, in so many different sizes and shapes and colours and flavours that there’s very likely going to be one that gives an equivalent experience. If size is your thing, there’s some seriously large toys out there.
Lastly: think about what needs to be real and what can be imagined. For me, it’ll most often be more than enough if a partner whispers into my ear that I’m a dirty slut and they’re going to treat me how I deserve by putting their beer bottle or kitchen implement or other terrifyingly large or filthy thing inside me – all the while, literally just playing with me with their fingers ❤.
Stay safe out there,
xx Pixie.
Pixie Isobella 